How singles dated: then and now
Before online dating and matchmaking services existed, dating was simpler. Men and women met the old-fashioned way: through friends and family, at events, at church, or while they were out and about. Since there were a limited number of ways for singles to meet, men and women were more thoughtful about the way they approached dating and their roles were clearly defined — men acted as men and women behaved like women.
In this day and age, online dating and matchmaking services have given singles exponentially more ways to meet. And since many women now act like men and many men aren’t as clear on what their role is, listening to old, stale dating advice won’t yield successful results.
These worn-out approaches may catch a man’s eye and land you a date or two.
But if you want your dates with a man to turn into a promising relationship, you need dating advice that’s insightful, meaningful, and empowering. Before we get to this advice, let’s look at why the “same old” dating advice no longer works — and why modern dating rules are confusing. Knowing this will give you a better understanding of why real-world advice is needed.
Why the same old dating advice and modern dating rules don’t work
Old dating advice is fluffy and lacks substance. It focuses more on the superficial aspects, like showing your cleavage, being flirtatious, and flipping your hair to get asked out on a date. It says to not call him unless he calls you. It tells you that dating is a numbers game, and to date as many people as possible.
When I put old dating advice into practice in my life, things felt forced. I felt like I was wearing a mask and being deceitful, keeping my inner beauty from shining through. I unintentionally behaved and acted in ways that compromised my integrity hoping to get asked out, which didn’t make me feel good about myself.
It diminished my self-worth because I was at a man’s mercy of whether he approved of me enough to ask me out. If you’re a smart woman, the thought of having to behave in these ways just to get asked out may leave you feeling cheap and disgusted.
Modern dating rules have become complicated as the role of men and women are blurred. Anyone can ask anyone out, no one knows who is supposed to pay, or if a date is really a date or just a hookup. Women who initiate contact are left wondering why they have a hard time attracting and dating masculine men. Following modern dating rules will make you feel discouraged and confused.